The Tantrum

Things are getting real. I leave in two weeks to enter the MTC and there's a whole barrage of things to do in between now and then.
Today, I was having a disagreement with my sister, Hannah, and I got to the point where I didn't want to look at her or I would shout obscenities. I locked myself in the bathroom for about 15 minutes. I cried a little, and felt like there was nothing I could do for myself or for anyone. I wasn't mad at her; I was just mad, for no good reason. I feel so inadequate and imperfect. My mind is plagued with doubts like I've never known or experienced in my entire life. There are doubts that would crumble the foundation of my life and values and beliefs. Why now?
Because.
Because I'm going on a mission. I'm going to be helping guide people to the greatest thing in their lives. And no matter how much doubt fills up my few free mind bubbles, I am clean and God lives. "As he died to make men holy, let [me] live to make men free."